In lieu of the now infamous video of Solange, Jay-Z and
Beyonce I asked my Facebook friends the following question: What
do you teach your son(s) in reference to defending himself from girls? Do you
teach your son(s) ‘boys don’t hit girls’? If you believe that, do you also
believe its okay for a girl to hit a boy and expect him to not retaliate? Here is what some who commented had to say.
"It's never ok for a man to hit a woman. But he definitely
can protect himself from the relentless attack lol. Gotta look at it like this
if he hits the woman he's an abuser with jail time possibly, if he doesn't he's
a punk! With that being said I would rather my son know he's not supposed to
hit women than to mess up his future. (I know I kind of went on a tangent) lol."
Kenny Warren
"I say don't hit your sister, but if an outsider hits you
tag the chick! We NEVER encourage violence; however, you may have to
show you ain't NO punk!" Shonda Ridley
"I have always told my sons that you are stronger.... Just
try to restrain her. Not a choke hold but grab her arms and hold her down. Hold
her until she calms down or until I can get there and calm her down.... Lol." Kim
Copeland
"The topic has come up alot with my oldest son. I told him
a male in most cases you are the stronger of the two so show it enough to
protect yourself and show her it would not be wise to continue. Self control is
huge so that's where i started the discussion and ended it…I tell my sons and
my daughter anything you hit will have a reaction. At first i used to tell my
oldest don't hit your sister boys don't hit girls so whenever he did something
she didn't like she would hit him knowing he couldn't hit back. Well after long
he grew tired of not fighting back and popped her silly both had learned their
lesson through my error." Jake Beasley
This is something that I’ve often wondered about. If I
were to ever have children what are some of the core values that I would try to
instill in them to ensure that they carried those values with them in their
hearts throughout their lives. Society has a double standard when it comes to a
lot of things. Most of the time women are the ones left with the short end of
the stick. When it comes to domestic violence, men are almost never taken
seriously. They are viewed are the dominate species who is supposed to have
more self-control, better decision making skills and of course more physically
powerful. So when a man is physically or even emotionally abused no one usually
bats an eye. He is supposed to be the defender, protector and provider. Surely he can defend
himself against a woman. What if he was taught not to defend himself-under any
circumstance against a woman who is supposed to be his weaker counterpart? It
starts on the playground. We teach our boys not to hit girls and to extend
girls the courtesy of always going first. The matter of chivalry is a lesson
taught before boys enter elementary school. What if I told you that not all
women deserve to be treated like ladies? What if I told you not all girls
deserve chivalry to be extended to them? There are exceptions to every rule and
allowing a woman to hit, spit and kick you, (especially when aimed at a man’s most vulnerable
place) is where the line should be drawn. If and when I do ever have children,
I hope they’ll carry the following with them throughout their lives.
1. To my boy: I
will teach him to (try) not to hit girls. But if she is constant in her attacks
and trying to inflict bodily harm on him, first try to restrain her. If that
doesn't work I hope he defends himself with a (reasonable) amount of force. Meaning
not the same force he would use against another male, but enough so that she
knows he SERIOUS.
2. To my girl: As far as it goes for me
teaching my daughter, I'll tell her if you hit a man expect to get hit BACK
like one too.
Take a look at this video by Mankind's Violence is Violence campaign initiative.
Violence is violence. Teach your kids to protect themselves.
I do not claim ownership of the above images.
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